How to develop a non-negotiable ritual with your partner

1 idea to develop better relationship with your loved one

Apr 24, 2023

About 4 months ago, I started a new ritual in our family. Every Thursday, my wife and I would go out and have a ‘date night’. We go to different restaurants every week, try new food, and have a conversation about life. We give each other our full presence. There is even a calendar invite in our family calendar.

We have ONE rule. Unless one of us is sick, our date night is non-negotiable.
And work never gets in the way.

Unfortunately, I have this lingering flu and haven’t been feeling 100% for the past week. One of the things I learnt after becoming a father is parents often take turns getting sick. I have been coughing but we still managed to go out and enjoy a chicken ramen with my wife last Thursday. (Titbit: I’m on a gluten-free diet and shouldn’t be eating ramen. Thankfully my wife reminded me before I ordered a second bowl.)

While taking a short stroll on our way home, my wife said we should have skipped it if I wasn’t feeling well. This is what I said to her:

Let’s say we continue and date once a week, we only have about 2,000 nights left.

She was shocked.

“Please don’t say that, that’s so depressing! 2,000 is not enough!”

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Each of us has around 4,000 weeks to live on this planet. Our priorities, habits not only matter to us, they matter to people whom we spend time with. When we make way for certain things in our  life, they may not feel like much in the short term. But overtime, the impact compounds. If you want better relationship, invest in it. If you want better health, invest in it.

Learning from Others

Love is not about staging the perfect proposal or creating a perfect relationship. It’s about learning to navigate the imperfections that are intrinsic to ourselves, our partners, and life itself.

Jay Shetty