Telling My 4.5 Year Old about Death

1 Transformative Idea

A couple of days ago, while I was having dinner with my family, I received a text. I found out my elder son's former kindergarten principal, Marie Marchand passed away. It was strange because I had literally just talked about Marie with a friend two weeks ago. I didn’t finish my meal.

I always wanted to interview Marie on the podcast. We spoke about it early this year. We even scheduled a date for a chat in March. And then on Valentine's Day February 14, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and we had to park the conversation. She had made plans to retire from school in April. The unexpected surprise changed all her plans. We didn't get to see her after February. We got frequent updates from her via the school's newsletter instead. She was very upbeat as usual.

Every now and then, Marie and I would text each other and exchange a few selfies. She loved it. She would tell me all the things she was learning about chemotherapy. She showed me a hat that would minimize hair loss. I naively thought she was getting better and won the battle. Turned out she didn't.

My friend asked how to break the news to our children. This was how my 4.5 year old learned about death. He used to love watching Lion King. In one of the scenes, Mufasa got tricked into a gorge by Scar and got trampled to death by a stampede of wildebeest.

When my son eventually got the idea, that there is a start and an end in our life. He poured his eyes out. My heart sunk.

"I don't want daddy to die."

I reminded him of this scene. Daddy will always be around. When I'm gone, I'll just become a star above you, looking out for you.

Thank you for everything Marie. We miss you.

Together, Aaron