6 things I learned after becoming a dad

slow thoughts, deliberate questions for parents

Apr 28, 2023

1 Idea

My dad wasn’t around much when I was growing up. He was busy working, providing for two families. Every time I got in trouble, he was there, for the big stuff. Sometimes, I wish I could share more small stuff with him. And after I became a parent of two young children, here are what I learned about parenting:

No one knows how to be a parent.
If your parents are still around, be grateful for what they've given you.
Parents learn on the go. School taught us how not to get someone pregnant, but never taught us how to be a parent.
Parents make mistakes, we learn from it and we try to be better.
Perfect parent does not exist. Better parent does.
Above all, it’s much easier to judge your parent, than trying to be a flawless parent.

We can dwell on the past, whine about what we didn’t have. And that’s not going to change a thing. Or we could reframe it, become the person we wish we once had. Parent. Leader. Friend. Partner. Whoever you think you were missing in your life.
You can create a different experience for someone else.

1 Lesson

“Stop crying. Terrible 2s. Terrible 3s.”

If a crying grown-up comes to you, would you ask them to stop crying or label them terrible 20s, 30s, 40s? Kids frustrate you. Kids help you grow. You are both right.

Aaron Pang