2 Fast Thoughts That Kill Your Relationships

Have you ever felt like your relationships are slipping through your fingers?

“I wish I hadn’t said that…”

“ I wish I didn’t do that…”

There’s a reason why they say, when we feel emotional, it’s best to shut up and hide our hands.

You’re not alone! After reflecting on my own experiences and chatting with others, I’ve discovered two sneaky thinking patterns that can really sabotage our connections.

Before I talk about the two thinking patterns, let’s talk about the villain first.

Villain: The Loud and Distracted World

Engineers and app developers use sophisticated algorithms to grab our attention. Marketers and bloggers create content that keeps us engaged, enticing us to click deeper for another dopamine hit. If we don’t set boundaries, we can easily let technology run our lives.

When our computer is slow, we hit Ctrl-Alt-Del on our keyboard to check performance. If it runs out of capacity, we can upgrade it or shut down programs we don’t need. Unfortunately, our brains lack this option. We don’t have a visual dashboard to show us how much we can handle.

Many of us check emails, social media, and negative news first thing in the morning and before bed. Think about it — would you let a stranger walk into your bedroom? That’s what we do by bringing our phones into our personal space, where we should be resting.